If They Need Me, I'm There

This morning I got on Facebook and saw a post by a girl that at one point, I couldn't go more than five hours without talking to. She was one of my best friends. We met at Norfolk State and I became inseparable with her and two other guys. Now she lives in Florida, and we barely talk. One of the guys lives in Richmond, and I've seen him twice in the last year. The third guy lives on the other side of campus, and I see him once a week at most.

What happened to us? I understand that you can't expect people to stay in your life forever, but I thought that was a high school thing. I figured that of all the people you surrounded yourself with, only one or two of them would be true friends. I mean I only communicate with two friends from high school now. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

I thought college was different. I thought you made lifelong connections here. The small group I had freshman year was supposed to be the people I could call on forever. We'd be the maid of honor or best man at each other's weddings. We'd be godparents to each other's kids. How can we do that now if we don't even talk?

It's a shame that I've got all these questions and no answers. I suppose I could get all philosopher-y and look inside myself for the answer.

I don't have time for that.

I'll just do like most other people and blame everyone else. The phone works both ways, right? Why should the life span of my relationships with others be in my hands alone?

It can't be as serious as I'm making it out to be.

My mom has friends from high school that she probably talks to once a year. She has some that send short Facebook messages every once in a while. She has some she probably hasn't spoken to in over five years.

She isn't complaining.

I need to stop being so "Disney Channel" and realize that we're growing up. There was probably a one-in-a-million chance that I'd have the "Shawn and Cory" relationship. You know, the situation where you meet at a young age, become best friends, graduate high school together, go to college, get married, get in trouble and so on, all while you manage to maintain an in-sync relationship with your best friend.

Since that's not how my life is going, I'm going to be happy with what I've got. They may not be right by my side and we may not talk every single day, but I've got a good group of people that have got my back. The same goes for them.

If they need me, I'm there.

Things Are Lookin' Up!

I finally got back on my feet and then neglected my blog.

Oops.

Lately, tons of doors have been opening for me. That infamous law class is starting to ease up. Well, I take that back. It's not getting easier. It might actually be harder now. I think I've just figured out how to survive.

My adviser emailed me with an awesome opportunity to be a copy editor at a local newspaper. If I got this job, it would be a chance to get my foot in the door. This is exactly what I've been waiting for! My brother texted me while I was in bowling class (yes, bowling class) and told me about a position as a hip-hop blogger for an online radio site. I applied for that, too.

If I could get either (or both) of those jobs, all the headache from that law class would be totally worth it. I just don't want to be one of those people who wasted thousands of dollars in college just to work at a grocery story for three years after graduation. I want to get my degree and hop off the stage and into an office. How else will I pay off all those loans?

Even if I can't pay off my loans as quickly as I hope to, I just can't be viewed as a failure in the eyes of others. I know way too many people that didn't finish college and only had one semester left. I refuse to be that girl.

My day got a lot brighter after I got word about those two job opportunities. Hopefully, I get good feedback. I'll keep you posted.

Things are lookin' up!

The Story Behind the Title

My blog has a pretty unique name. It started out as "Fifth Time's the Charm." Then it got shot down by one of my favorite professors, Mr. Opfer. He told me the background looked like a fourteen-year-old's bedspread and the title referenced my past failures. Geez!

I wasn't offended at all by his comments. In fact, I welcome his criticism on everything I do. As my writing professor, my adviser and my mentor, he's done a hell of a lot for me these past couple years. I'm pretty sure he has my best interests in mind, so when he tells me to jump, I just need to know how high. I'll probably end up asking him to check out my fiancee before I actually marry him.

But this isn't about him.

After Mr. Opfer gave me some feedback, I decided to change a few things. I chose "Fifth Time's the Charm" as my title because I'd tried to blog before, but it never worked out. I saw what he meant by "referencing my failures" so I decided not to try so hard.

At the time, I was as sick as a dog and stuck in my room. I looked around my desk at the crumpled up tissues and the empty bottle of Tylenol PM. Dozens of cough drop wrappers littered my laptop's keyboard. As I cradled a giant bowl of cold chicken noodle soup and lifted the spoon to my lips, it hit me.

Cough Drops and Cold Soup.

Who would name their blog after home remedies for an upper respiratory infection? Me, that's who.

It's a bit unorthodox, but I bet you won't forget it. It will also serve as a reminder to keep pushing even when I'm at my worst. I started this blog while I was coughing up a lung and barely keeping any food down. If I can get work done when I'm feeling like that, I can pretty much do anything.

I've Got Some Growing Up To Do...

I am a pro complainer. No one complains better than me. Just ask my momma. Usually, I have an array of things to complain about: It's too hot in my room. Gas prices are too high. I don't get paid enough. The elevator never works...

Recently, I found something to complain about so often that I don't have time to complain about anything else. I'm taking Law of Mass Communications with Dr. Stanley Tickton at Norfolk State University.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I feel like this course was designed to make people feel like their IQ is most likely a single digit. I go to class every Tuesday and Thursday ready to learn. I have my paper ready to take the usual seven to eight pages of notes. I'm wide-eyed and my mind is clear. He tells us everything we need to know about FCC regulations and losing licenses and so on.

For that hour and a half, I feel pretty good about the class. When it's over, I'm confident that I'll do excellent on the next assignment. The day comes to turn in our homework. I've got 2-3 pages of single-spaced cases and regulations. I'm sure I aced this one.

Then he gives the papers back.

Let's just say, the temperature in Antarctica gets higher than the grades I get in his class.

How the hell do I spend hours and hours on a single assignment just to get a 38??? I'd love to be a fly on the wall while Dr. Tickton grades my papers. I'm sure the words "idiot," "crazy," and a couple "pfftss" have escaped his lips while reading over my work.

I just don't get it. But I get it. I mean, I understand the material. I just don't know how to construct a paper showing that I understand.

I spoke to a friend of mine about the class, and he had a revelation that I hadn't thought about: This is college. Perhaps, we're not delivering what Dr. Tickton wants because we've never been forced to learn on a college level. Honestly, most of my classes at NSU have been a breeze. I'm a pretty smart person, and I can pass most classes by just applying what I already know about the subject. Actually going to class and doing the work hasn't really helped or hurt me so far.

Aside from those bird courses, I've had two professors before Dr. Tickton that were notoriously hard. Dr. Katina Hall-Patrick (who I hear is now just Dr. Tina Hall) and Dr. Pendleton taught chemistry and geography, respectively. I did horribly in both of their courses.

They both taught on ridiculous levels. I complained while I was in the class, but now that I think about it, maybe they were just teaching college courses. Maybe they were so tough because they really knew their stuff. This law class is difficult, but that's only in comparison to all my other classes. I'm taking music appreciation and bowling for crying out loud. Why are those even necessary?

I guess I've got some growing up to do. If I have anything to complain about, it'll be the price of textbooks or something. I'm done complaining about hard courses. In every class I take, I expect the professor to be passionate enough about the subject to at least keep me interested. When they're not, I complain. So why am I complaining when a professor is too passionate about the subject?

I need to recognize when a teacher is trying to make me better and stop confusing it with trying to break me. I'm working on that. In fact, I have an assignment due today. I put in so much work for this one. I rewrote my answers over and over and I read the casebook a zillion times. I'm pretty confident about this one. It's got to be at least a 50. :)

And So It Begins...

This is my fifth time trying to blog. My major is journalism and all my professors have told me that I need to have an internet presence. I tried making blogs every year and I just kept neglecting them. I'd blog faithfully for about a week or two. Then I'd forget about it.

This time, I'm on it. I won't give myself any limitations so expect the unexpected. My first one was a celebrity blog. I know nothing about famous folk. So it died. The second two were supposed to be "all-about-me" blogs, but I told my whole life story in one post so it was irrelevant after that.

The fourth one was for an assignment. I posted five times and called it quits. They're all still out there somewhere 'cause I never remember my passwords. Google me. :)

As for now, I'm going to stick with this blog. Hopefully, I'll make it past the second week. Who knows? Maybe the fifth time's the charm...